Saving the World*

It's no secret that the world contains more human beings than it can comfortably support. It's also common knowledge that because of crowding-out by humans, and the accompanying environmental degradation, many species of animals are endangered. So, I have come up with a solution that addresses both of these problems at once.

Being a scientifically-minded type of person, I believe that proposals must be tested. For this test I selected the cheetah, a magnificent feline, famous for its sprinting speed. It is obviously in severe decline in this area; on a recent trip to Werribee I counted only two! The problem is simply defined: cheetahs struggling to survive, too many humans in the world. The simple solution: feed humans to the cheetahs.

Now, I know what you're thinking: it sounds OK so long as it's someone else being fed to the cheetah. To show that I am absolutely serious about this I am leading by example and have fed my own 3 year old child to a needy cheetah.

As you can see, the tot went bravely to do her bit for saving the world and the cheetah itself was very enthusiastic.

What happened next was quite chaotic, as you can imagine. There was growling and screaming and a general to-do, this is the best shot I could get under the circumstances.
So, there you have it. I urge you all to follow my example and feed your children to a wild animal. I wasn't sure about it at first, but really it's quite liberating. If you're feeling especially generous, you might also want to feed it an elderly relative or two.

Thank you for listening, I hope together we can make the world a better place.

*No animals, including children, were harmed during the making of this blog post.